i know i know...it's been really long...I've been dealing with some shit and I'm finally getting my head right...slowly but surely...I'll be back soon...i get depressed EVERY winter...some worse than others...I'm clinically depressed...it's not like one thing that gets me this way..it's a chemical imbalance in my head..and with the help of friends and a strong vision of the future and the things i want to take with my from this life, I'll survive...I'll survive like i always do...26 years...and I'm still surviving...whodathunk...
we're back playin shows...which is my cure...i missed this so much...i missed the feeling of being in front of people and making them happy...that makes me happy...there is no bigger joy then being joy for someone else..i was there...i was once the lil nerdy kid with glasses, thinkin he was super rad b/c he snuck some beers before a concert, and now he's standing in front of a band that is making him feel something inside...and it's not the booze he feels...it's an emotion that has never been named...it's something you can't name b/c it's different in everyone...it's music...it makes you move...it' moves you...it makes you think thoughts...it makes you happy, it makes you angry, it makes you sad, it makes you miss the past, it makes you hopeful of the future...it makes YOU, well, you...
tonight...ah yes...tonight...chris was shredding so hard...he literally caught his gear on fire...it was absolutely ridiculous...we caught a hint of burnt cabbage, Todd made a joke about his neighborhood smelling, and then whoosh!! chris' monitor caught flames and Jae...of course jumped to the rescue...roadhouse kick after roundhouse kick...trying to fight the fire...didn't do any good so we had to unplug it and dump water on the flames...someone should teach Jae that roundhouse kicks on add oxygen to the flames and make them strong...silly Jae...leave the firefighting to the trained professionals...i, on the other hand was run and shoving and pushing woman and children out of the way of the first exit i saw...it was a rush, for sure...and our next song we played just happened to be a cover of a JAWBREAKER song...entitled "Fireman"...ironic!
OK...it's shower time...and I'm gonna catch some ZZzzz's .... g'nite all...be excellent to each other..
Monday, December 29, 2008
i hope it gives you HELL, hope it gives you HELL...CLUB HELL
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2 comments:
well Fitz, good luck with everything. I'm happy your starting to feel better with yourself now. Now when you come on tour again I think everyone should come and give you hugs! lol
Seasonal Affective Disorder is what they call winter depression. Have you looked at bright light therapy? I knew a girl that had it, and it seemed to help her. Or medication? There's no reason to struggle with it and feel sucky every winter. It isn't your fault your body is doing this. You could probably find a light strength prescription to get you through to spring, and only need to take it in the winter.
Good Luck!
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